Tsss~

I just hate judgmental people. They judge everything. They judge you even if they don't know you, They judge you by the way you walk, They judge you by the way you dress and mostly they judge you by the way you look.

Who are they to judge you, They don't even know you, They've never been in your shoes to judge you.

Tsssss~ I'm so pissed right now -_-

I can't write anything now.

Love like Pokemon~ XD

Charmanders are red.

Squirtles are blue.

IF you were a pokemon, I'd choose you.

Your smile is stronger than a hyperbeam.

Like Jesse and James, We'd make the perfect team.

I'll stand by your side like Pikachu and Ash,

and I'll love you more than a Level 20 rapidash.

You're more legendary than a zapados,

entei or mew.

But all of 450. I choose you :)) <3

I Should've Kissed You...

"So I turned the car around, and you were right where I left you, and your smile said you were feeling me too. And the next time I won't stop, I'll listen to my heart, cause what I feel is real."

Soo ummm... Na LSS ako sa kantang yan XD

It's by Chris Brown but I like the Christian Feliciano and Maribelle Anes Duet Version http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=q0510bUmYhQ#! <----Here's the link just so you know :))

So I had this Last Song Syndrome. IDK why. Maybe because the song is meaningful.

But I got all emotional about it and then flashbacks about the past. It's heartbreaking D:

But of course "Past is past don't let it follow you"

Up to now I still can't get over it. I'm trying to smile. Think positive so that I'll give a positive attitude to other persons :)

I'll pray to God so that this negative thoughts of mine will go away.

So my birthday is coming up and God knows what my special wish is :)

God take care of him okay? I know you will :')

She just can't :(

Every girl has that guy.
She goes back again and again,
Heartbreak after heartbreak,
No one understands it,
and she doesn't even know why.
She can't let him go.

How To Love :)

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you know, what else matters? She's not perfect- you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break- Her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.

Feelings that came back are feelings that never went away :)

Hello there blog~ :)
This is the second time that I've been happy while blogging.
The time I created this blog I was like in a whole freaking mess! XD
But now I can smile again and Laugh hard like there's no tomorrow :D


This day was a Good day well I got stressed by those Final Exams and those stupid boys who keeps courting me. LOL~ XD
I told them to stop and go along find their own happiness and find someone else to court because I am like still taken. "But we thought you're already single?"
Well hell yeah I am single! But still my hearts belongs to that one special guy. :)
OMG~ It's so weird right now 'cause one of those freaking courting boys I thought he was gay but he's like all straight and he likes me and it's all awkward now because I kept saying to myself that he's gay but then eventually he's not gay!


I'm so sorry dude for thinking that you're gay :(
And sorry for yelling :/


I Yelled "Go away! I'm taken man!."
I'm so sorry~ T^T
But you see I'm still taken by the same guy whose my Best Friend at the same time.
He knows me better than you and even if I'm all broken I still wouldn't choose you~ I'm soooo mean! XD
I'm sorry okay? I just don't want people acting up like that when they already know I just went through a hard break up.
Man are you blind or just numb? I still love the same guy okay? I don't wanna get over it because I can say it was the best 6 months of my life. I was tested and We had gone through many trials we can't throw it away just like that. Get  what I mean? 


So yeah that special guy for me He's one lucky fella and I'm one lucky gal I guess. We had each other through bad times and Good times, Ups and Downs  :) No one knows me better than he does :D


and BTW WE ARE HAPPY EVEN IF WE'RE NOT TOGETHER! Because the feeling like we still own each other it's still there. No one will ever take that!  :P 

Me hearts you Very Special Guy~ :3 <3

Don't give up.

"Things turn for the better at the time you least expect it."

Well I guess that saying is true. I thought that I'd be all lazy and no spirit till our final exams. But I guess God wouldn't let me fail those tests and he knows I need some motivations :D

Well God is Good as always.

You know that feeling when you get something out of your chest and head it's been sitting in my head for quite a while. I guess someone took the risk of asking me what's wrong :)

Then here it came, I got loads and loads of heavy burdens out of my chest. It feels great actually it's all mixed up. I cried, I smiled then I laughed.

Good thing that guy took the risk. It all end up very well I should say.

I'll build up myself confidence, Trust in myself and now I should learn how to trust others who surrounds me.

Everything may seems to be fucked up but in the end you know that those trials and hardships will lead you to something more good. 

God didn't planed to have our every day lives perfect so that we can still see hope for tomorrow.

I didn't expect that it'll be like this but God wants me to be happy so yeah I'll work on it BOSS! :D

I didn't expect that everything would turn out like this but I guess it's time to move on from the Grudges I had. Goodbye old self well the bad side only XD I'll try to be more on the positive side :))

I think I'll have a great week year or what so ever XD

Thank You Raph! LOL~ XDDD <3 <3 <3

Ugggghhh~

I just hate it when I come to this sudden decisions. 
At first I'm all okay but then as time goes by it'll get worst and worst T~T
I hate coming at this point in my life because it's either I'll be glad I've done it or I'll be in the end crying like a stupid freak.
I also hate it because I got tired crying and doing too much drama to my friends. I mean yeah they're my friends but I got tired of telling them things over and over they'll tell me what to do and there goes me ruining all their advice and shizz.
I feel so alone. I need someone over there clearly.
I just don't know who'll be the one to take that risk to ask me what's wrong that he or she wouldn't stop till I say all what I need to say.
 I need a friend more like a best friend who I'll be the most comfortable with.
Apparently that one person was whom I call my "Best Friend". 
Of course he's not my best friend I loved him more than anything in this world, For the first time I was afraid of losing someone.
I may know him for just quite a while but still it feels like I knew him since we were kids.
It just hurts that I had all the time in the world to make him stay but I chose to push him away and forced him to find someone better.
This is why I call my self "STUPID" because I had him, I pushed him and it's all different now.
God, I'm crying again! T~T
This is why I think I should be better alone forever.
No one deserves me. Well they deserve me as a friend but not as a better half or partner in life.
It may hurt but in this kind of way but in this way I'll never hurt anyone.
I'll only hurt my self. It's okay. It's me. I'm cool living with that constant pain.
I guess I'll say goodbye to those bittersweet memories.
I'll always remember the times we've spent and the moments we shared. 
I even lie to myself just to make it bearable.
Is this goodbye for good? I hope not. I hope you'll stick around not as the Boyfriend you said you'd be but as the Friend that will always be there.

Those walls

No, I'm not a bitch.
I've just been through a few things, been there & done that.


Yes, I guess I'm cold now. 
But not only because I once give a damn.
About someone who didn't give a damn about me.


I've built my walls around myself,
to protect my heart from hurt and damage.


I won;t believe you if you tell me you're different.
Unless you stick around to prove it.
Words no longer mean a thing,
Your actions are everything.

Am I important to you?

 I've never been so scared of losing something in my life. Then again nothing in my life has ever meant as much as you do.

The one

You're the first person I want to talk when I wake up, the last person when I fall asleep, the one to share good news with, the one to be upset with. I LOVE YOU :)

That person...

Ever have that one person in your life that you can't give up on
The one person that screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance. And no matter how many times you say this is their last one, You know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for them.
The person you know you're better off without, but you can't find a way to let them go.

Thank You :)

God is really good.

Thank you God for showing me that you really care about me.

Thank you for lifting my spirit up by sending me friends to comfort me.

Sorry God if I doubted that you weren't there for me when these trials came. Thank you for making me realize that you're still there.

You're so fast like lighting XD

I did drama for 5 minutes then boom you send me two of my most trusted friends and more like family in the whole world.

Thank you so much for everything. I will be your servant for the rest of time till we meet.

I will love and praise you for the rest of my life.

To you lord I lift my heart and soul. Guide me with your kindness and power.

The first and last :)

I look so happy you see? :)

Well that was like before all these trials came.

I couldn't smile like the same way I smiled at this photo.

Even though I tried my best to put that smile back it isn't that pretty anymore.

Of all the people in the world I always ask "WHY ME?"

Then I looked back of what I got.

I got the greatest persons in my life.

I got my Grandparents, Mom, Dad, Brothers, Friends and that one special guy.

Others don't have true friends.

Well I can say that I have true friends because they were there when every single thing sucks. They saw me cry, they saw me laugh, They saw me at my best and most of all they saw me at my worst.

I got my Family with me.

Other people doesn't have a family to call.

I'm so glad that God gave me a loving family.

My Grandparents more like parents to me loved me with all their hearts.

Now that I know how much sacrifices that they've done for us it's now my turn to give them the love I have for them :)

That one guy will always be the most special guy in my world and in the whole entire universe :D

He was there when I had no one to tell my secrets and problems.

He was there when I even thought I got no one.

He's the one who made me realize I had so much.

I even call him "A Blessing in disguise"

I called him that because when I always think of giving up in this freaking retarded life of mine he's always right there.

Even when I ask God why am I in this kind of situation.

God only answers my question with this guy showing up.

I love him more than anything and I'm still thanking God for giving me this guy.

We may be not in the relationship that we wished but we still got each other.

I know that someday Love will lead us back :)

"LOL~ I'm such a drama queen" XD 

EVERY GIRL NEEDS A BOY BEST FRIEND :)

Glad I have one :)))

He's a guy okay?

He just looks like a girl in this photo XDD

Cute isn't he? :D

HE'S THE GREATEST :) <3

Are you happy?

I honestly couldn't even tell you what happiness feels like anymore :'(

Reality of fear

You're not afraid of the dark

You're scared of what's in it.

You're not afraid of heights

You're afraid of falling.

You're not afraid of the people around you

You're afraid of rejection.

You're not afraid to love.

You'er just afraid of not being loved back.

You're not afraid to let go.

You're just afraid to accept the reality that they're gone.

You're not afraid to try again.

You're just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

Impossible

I will only stop loving you when a mute guy tells a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a legless guy walk on water.

Not enough

I can't deal with this,

I'm not strong enough and I'm tired of pretending that I am :'(

Ummmmm...

Sometimes, all you can do is hold on.

No matter how painful it's gonna be.

Because you know it's more painful when you lose it.

TRUE

I over analyse situations because I'm scared of what will happen if I'm not prepared for it.

:)

Smile like you've never been hurt. 

Fake Smiling?

I'm a professional at that.

I can :D

I can talk to hundreds of people in one day but none of them compare to the smile you can give me in one minute.

I know =__="

Trust me, I know how it feels.

I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you, and waiting for everyone to fall asleep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels :(

Me no likey!

I don't like being ignored, and I don't like being forgotten.

Especially by you. 

That's what you think!

You think it was tough out there? 

Think it was easy for me without you?

You thought that every single day wasn't a goddamn marathon of my life without you?

The truth...

Truth is, I get jealous easily because what's mine is mine.

I'm stubborn as hell, I say sorry too much.

I act like I don't give a fuck because I care too much.

I over analyze the smallest of the things & probably come off as a bitch to simply guard my self.

The most scariest feeling in the whole world...

I guess that if there's one thing I've learned, It's that you can't always predict what it's gonna feel like when the day you thought would never come....

Finally Arrives

She...

She says she doesn't care,

but her eyes tells a different story.

Love is a Cycle

When you love, you get hurt.

When you get hurt, you hate.

When you hate, you try to forget.

When you try to forget, you start missing.

And when you start missing...

you'll eventually fall in love again.

Speechless?...

Thinking in your head of all the things you would say to your crush if you two talked.

But when you two actually do talk what comes to mind?

NOTHING.

I need to...

Starting tonight, I need to forget what's gone.

Appreciate what still remains and look forward to what's coming next.

When...

When a boy calls you CUTE he likes your face.
When he calls you HOT he likes your body.
When he calls you BEAUTIFUL he likes your heart. :)

BLAH~

So this is random.
I don't know what to tell you XD
BLAH~ BLAH~ BLAH~


So for the next post's that I will post LOL~ The sentence is weird but yeah I still like it.(So for the next Blog that I'll post :] ) It would be quotes that speaks about me and how I feel :)
So yeah~ IDK what more to say.


BYE? :] LOL~ NO! XD

THAT~

You know that feeling?

When you missed someone. Do you think they miss you too?

Saw a bunch of guys and girls holding hands earlier.

I miss those times I spent with that one special person.

Late night chats, Late night texts, Late night I Love You's.

If I'd come back would you feel the same? Would I feel the same?

I'm still afraid. Maybe it's not the right time yet.

Looking at your pictures, Stalking your Facebook Profile looking through your wall. I'm still checking up on you :)

I just can't hide the fact that I still care and I still Love him.

Does he feel the same way?

These question kept me up all night.

Did he missed me?

Did he ate yet?

Who is he with?

I hope he's okay.

I bet he's having a good time.

I still think it's my stupidity that got us in this mess.

I should have trusted him in the first place. Well I can't blame my self for having this kind of IDK thing with trusting.

I got trust issues that I've never told him. I even went through counselling just to solve my problem. The counselor told me that it's a part of my personality already that I always check people. I don't give trust easily just like that. I really wanted to trust him that bad so I wouldn't worry that much.

But I guess I'm just simply stupid knowing that thinking too much and not trusting at the same time will be a hard thing.

He'll say that he's with his friend but in my head it's "I'm with girls."

If I can turn back the time again I would give him all my trust.

Well, I trusted him it's not just that much. More like 50/50.

50 goes to I believe in you and 50 goes to I don't think you're telling me the truth.

For all those girls or guys who's reading this, I want this to be a lesson to you TRUST the one you love the most and nothing else will be wrong. Thinking too much is not a good thing I tell you. It will only make things so much complicated.

I love him still, I do.

I know that he can't read this but I really wanna say: 

I still want to be with you badly but step by step I'm learning on how to let you go. It may be the hardest and the most hurtful thing that I'd do for my self but that's how much I love you that even though you're my only happiness I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness to make you free and happy.

I just don't think you deserve someone like me. I told you before that I'd hold on till the last second. Sorry for letting go. I'm just not that worthy of your time.  I still love you. You know that, right?

I hope you're happy. I'll always be right here whenever you need me okay? Till next time :)

PS: DON'T EVEN TOUCH HIM! OR YOU'LL BE A DEAD MEAT! :D

I LOVE RAPH! YEY~ <3

YAY~

So yeah, this is my first Blog from this site.

Well first of all my name is Johanna and I'm from San Diego, CA.

My friend more like a Best Friend to me introduced me to this Blogging thing. She said that this is her sorta stress reliever.

I'm so stressed right now so I think this might help me.

If you're reading this Shizz Thank You very much! :D

So here's more about ME:

I am funny.

I ditch sometimes but will really be sorry after I screwed up.

I also give up despite the strength I am showing, and when I do, It's over!

Sometimes I like to do things just because people told me not to.

I've flipped someone off many times already.

Horror movies are the kind of films I like.

I have a very good sense of humor.

I am an easy going person.

Sometimes I say "no" when I really mean "yes".

It's easy for me to get angry.

I sometimes cry over the stupidest things.

I often hide my emotions.

I AM RARE TO FIND so keep me well. HAHA~!

I am Loyal.

I am a good daughter to my parents and I am stubborn sometimes though.

I have my most unique way to care for others.

I am the nice persons that you will ever meet :)

Enough about me how about you? :D